


jujubes

by sunset_madi



Series: alex mercer and julie molina besties era [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Alex Mercer & Julie Molina are Best Friends, Alex Mercer Has A Sibling (Julie and The Phantoms), Gay Alex Mercer (Julie and The Phantoms), Good Friend Alex Mercer (Julie and The Phantoms), Good Friend Julie Molina, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Minor Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Minor Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, alex and julie are my comfort characters, alex mercer has a sister, alex mercer says trans rights, idk how to do this without spoiling it, or does he?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:02:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29671827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunset_madi/pseuds/sunset_madi
Summary: "So... you want to see them again?""Someday. Not right now. Someday."She nodded and patted his back. "Baby steps, Lexie."orAlex's Unsaid Emily.Takes place sometime after Stand Tall.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Julie Molina
Series: alex mercer and julie molina besties era [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2180388
Comments: 3
Kudos: 69





	jujubes

**Author's Note:**

> people seemed to like the one shot i posted the other day, so i decided to write another one. this one is much longer. it has i think twice the number of words? idk.
> 
> are alex and julie the only canon characters i know how to write?
> 
> no.
> 
> are alex and julie the only canon characters ive written so far?
> 
> yes.
> 
> if you have prompts you'd like for me to write, feel free to comment them! if i see one i like, i'll try to write it:)
> 
> also thank you for all the love on the first one, i didnt expect people to read it.

"I'm just saying, it's ridiculous that you two aren't together yet. You're practically dating!"

"Oh, shut up. What about you and Luke?"

"What about me and Luke?" Julie raised an eyebrow.

Alex rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on, Jules. You two have been on dates before."

"Okay, first of all, Jules is Flynn's nickname for me. Get your own. Have some originality. Second of all, when were Luke and I on a date?"

"You guys are always hanging out together."

"We're always writing songs together. That's something we're required to do. Those aren't dates. At least not like your's and Willie's. We don't make out in museums or whatever."

"That's not what-"

"If you're not making out, what are you doing?"

"Yelling."

"At each other?"

"At life."

She shook her head. "Okay, Alex."

"But you and Luke have been on real dates."

"We have done no such thing. The only times we hung out outside of the house, we were with you and Reggie. Forgive me if I don't consider that very romantic."

"You don't consider it very romantic but to some extent, you do consider it a little romantic?"

She shot him a look. He groaned. "Come on, Julie! We're not always around. What about the day after we performed Edge of Great for that party outside your garage?"

Julie tilted her head in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"The day before the Orpheum?"

"Alex, are you feeling alright? You're not making any sense right now.”

"Please. Stop playing dumb. The day Luke told you about Caleb's jolts. We left you two alone all day. We checked the garage and neither of you were home. You were with him, weren't you?"

Her mouth formed an 'o.' "I was with Luke. But not in the way you think. It wasn't a date."

"Sure it wasn't."

"I'm serious!" she whined before lowering her voice. "I visited his parents with him. Gave them Unsaid Emily."

Alex's jaw hung open. "He let you do that?"

"Well, I didn't exactly ask him, which I know I should have. He was there though. He could have stopped me. But he didn’t.”

He started twirling a drumstick with his fingers and whistled. "Man, he must really be in love with you.”

"Oh, shush. It wasn't because of me. I think he secretly wanted his parents to hear the song. Afterwards he said he was glad it had happened. Even if it wasn't what he wanted, it was what he needed. Closure. Just the comfort of knowing that they know that he still loves them."

Alex raised his head slightly from where it was lying on the couch. That couldn't have been very good for his posture, but he could've cared less. "When did you get so wise?"

"Excuse you, I've been spitting facts since I was out of the womb."

He chuckled. He still thought the phrase "spitting facts" was weird, but he was getting used to it. He and the boys were actually adjusting pretty well to Julie and Flynn's "stan Twitter" lingo, whatever that meant. There was a moment of comfortable silence that ended when Julie spoke up.

"You know, I'm helping Reggie find his family."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"That's cool."

"I guess I just miss my mom. I would do anything to see her again, but I can't. You guys... you still have a shot. It's like I'm trying to vicariously live through you. Which is stupid 'cause y'all are dead." She said the last sentence like it was a punchline, but her expression gave her away. Her eyebrows scrunched together. Her chewing the inside of her cheek. A clear tell that something was bothering her.

"It's not stupid, Julie. You're not living through us. Well, maybe a little, but that's not the only thing you're doing. You're helping us. And if helping us helps you, that's not a bad thing."

"It's a little selfish though, isn't it? I'm helping people to make myself feel better."

"You're helping us because you're a good person. You're not selfish."

She shook her head. "No. I'm helping them."

"What?"

"You said I'm helping you. I haven't done anything for you."

"What? Of course you have. You-"

"No, Alex." Her voice was shaking. "I haven't even asked if you want to find your family. If there's anyone you'd want to check up on."  
Alex set the drumstick he was playing with down on his stomach. "Oh."

"I assumed you wouldn't want to see them because... you know." Alex nodded. "But I should have asked. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, Julie. The thing with Luke was... the moment he left home, he wanted to go back, you know? He didn't go, obviously, but that regret was always there with him. And he didn't realize how badly he didn't want to lose them until..."

"Yeah."

"When you think of your mom, you miss her. You want to see her again. You love her. She made your life better."

"Jesus Christ, Lexie. You're going to make me cry."

"I would apologize, but you just called me Lexie so I don't think you deserve that."

"If you don't say sorry right now, it's going to be on your conscience forever."

"Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.”

"Thank you."

"Anyways, back to what I was saying. Back in the 90s, when Luke thought of his parents, he missed them. He wanted to see them again. He thought he hated them. He wanted to believe that so desperately. But he did love them. If he hated them, leaving wouldn't have hurt so much. They made his life better too. That's why he wrote Unsaid Emily."

Julie nodded. Alex continued.

"When I thought of my parents... Even now, when I think of them, I... It's complicated, because I miss them, but do I want to see them again? Do they want to see me again? When they kicked me out, they never tried to get me back. Maybe they'd miss me now, but do they only miss me because I'm dead? I love them, but the day they found out who I really was, they... they stopped loving me. I wasn't their son anymore. I- I was a sin. And to them, that's all I was ever going to be. A mistake. They... didn't make my life better. They made me afraid to be me. I was ashamed of myself."

Julie stood up from where she was sitting at the piano. "What are you doing?" asked Alex.

"You, sir," she said, walking over to him, "need a hug. Come on, sit up and scoot over." He did as he was told and was wrapped in her embrace.  
Alex obliged.

He was so glad they could do this now. He'd normally be worried about how if someone walked in Julie would look like she had lost it, but he didn't care about that right now. He rested his head on her shoulder. He had to bend down because of how much taller than her he was. He didn't mind.

"Sometimes," Alex whispered, "I wonder if they could have changed. If they have, do they deserve to be forgiven? I won't be able to sleep at night without knowing if those 25 years changed anything for them. If the world can change, why can't they?"

"Do you guys even sleep?"

"You know what I mean."

"So... you want to see them again?"

"Someday. Not right now. Someday."

She nodded and patted his back. "Baby steps, Lexie."

He pushed her away. "You ruined it." She pouted stuck her tongue out at him.

"So, where do these baby steps start? Is there anyone other than your parents you'd want to see?"

He nodded. "I had a sister."

She smiled. "Let's get started, shall we?"

===

Alex stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking up at the sign. 'The Candy Lab.' God, 25 years and his sister was still a dork. It seemed like a sign. Nothing had changed. It was comforting.

"This is where she works according to her Facebook page, but, it looks like she hasn't been active on there in years, so she may have started working somewhere else since then."

"Yeah, yeah. Obviously." 

Don't get your hopes up, idiot.

Julie must have seen the worry on Alex's face. "Hey, don't worry. If she isn't here anymore, someone who works there will know where to find her. You're going to see her again. And don't be worried about her being like how your parents were. Her Facebook bio literally says she's a lesbian. Now, let's go inside before people think I'm talking to air."

She dropped her hand to her side and wiggled her fingers. He realized that was her subtle way of telling him to grab her hand, which is what he did. He hoped it wasn't too noticeable to other people.

She pushed the glass door open. A little bell rang. They were seemingly the only customers there. The guy at the counter turned to see them. "Hey, how can I help you?" he said with a friendly smile on his face.

"Hi," Julie smiled back. "I'm looking for someone named Mikaela Mercer. Does she work here?"

His smile fell. "What?" 

Oh no.

"Sorry, did I say something wrong?"

"Um... uh, it's just... There's no Mikaela here." 

Alex groaned. This was just his luck.

"Oh." Julie nodded. "That makes sense. I found her profile on Facebook and she hasn't posted anything on there since, like, 2013. Do you know where I can find her?"

"Like I said, there is no Mikaela Mercer, but..."

"But...?"

"My name is Mike. Mike Mercer. He/him. Mikaela is my deadname. I think I'm the one you're looking for."

Oh.

Alex thought of all the times when they were kids. She- Well, he didn't like the name Mikaela at all. He always told people to call him Mickey. Looking back on it, it made so much sense.

"Oh," said Julie, facepalming. "Oh my god, I am so sorry. I-I just-"

"It's alright. When I heard you say Facebook, I knew it was an honest mistake. I deleted the app about a month before I came out as trans. It's just that when I heard you say that name..."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I should've-"

"Hey, it's okay. There's no way you could have known. Again, how can I help you?"

So Alex's sister was his brother now. No, Mike was always his brother. 

He was just hoping that things hadn't changed, but they had. Alex now had to get used to calling someone he always knew as his sister his brother. He would do it, no doubt. He would probably get used to it after a while. But it was a change. Not a bad change, but still a change.

"Yeah," said Julie, snapping him out of his thoughts. "I wanted to ask you about something. You had a brother named Alex?"

"I did, yeah. I was only 9 when he passed away. I'm assuming you know the story, but he and his band were supposed to play the Orpheum that night, but... well." Julie nodded for Mike to continue. "He was my big brother. He was who I wanted to be. And then just like that." He shook his head. "Gone." 

Alex rubbed his eyes, as if that was going to help stop the tears from falling.

"I'm sorry. I know how much it hurts when you lose someone like that. It sucks."

"Yeah. Why do you want to know about Alex, anyway?"

"Oh, um... my mom was a fan. She passed away about a year ago. And I live in the house with the garage where they used to practice. My mom used to play music there too. And now, so do I." 

"I'm sorry for your loss."

"It's okay. I've had time to move on. I still miss her, but the studio makes me feel so much closer to her. It's a... really happy place. When I play there, it's almost like they're there. I feel really connected to them. I actually visited Luke Patterson's parents a while ago. You were a little harder to find. I couldn't find you on Instagram or Twitter. Didn't realize you had changed your name and pronouns. I'm still looking for Reggie Peters' parents."

"Not our parents?"

"I heard about what happened with Alex and your parents. I wasn't sure if I'd be comfortable meeting them. I figured I would ask you. Should I?"

Alex stared at the candy on display. He refused to look anywhere else. He thought maybe it would distract him. All it did was remind him of back when he and Mickey were kids. Jujubes. 7 year old Mickey loved jujubes.

"Honestly? You made the right call. My parent's didn't tell me why they kicked Alex out until I was 15. You'd think that now that their son was dead, they'd try to change in his honor. But nope. They're the same as ever. They told me they would disown me if I was like him. That his death was God's way of punishing him for his sins. And at the time, I thought I was a lesbian. It was really scary. Eventually I realized that I'm a straight man and found a loophole, but there was no way they'd be cool with that either. I moved out when I was 18. Never looked back.

"I just wished Alex could have been with me. I don't remember him as well as I'd like to, but now he's never going to know who I really am. He never got to tell me who he really was. I never got to tell him how much he meant to me."

Alex's vision was blurred by tears. He wasn't sure why.

Were they tears of sorrow because his parent's didn't do anything to deserve redemption or forgiveness? Because they didn't care about him?

Were they tears of joy because of how far his brother had come? Because he had decided to live his life as himself instead of conforming to what other people wanted from him? Because he had accomplished what Alex had always wanted?

He wasn't sure.

Jujubes, Alex. Focus on the Jujubes.

"Oh my god," said Julie. "That's terrible. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, well," Mike sniffled."That's just how it is sometimes. You can choose your family, right? I chose mine a long time ago." He stopped talking. "Wow, I am so sorry, I don’t even know your name and I’m acting like you’re my therapist."

"It's Julie. And it's no problem. It was great talking to you.”

"Well, it was great meeting you, Julie. Good luck with your music."

Alex wanted to say something so badly. Even if Julie was the only who could hear him. He knew that if he opened his mouth he would choke on tears.

"Thank you," said Julie with a red nose. She looked back at him. To Mike, it was just a shelf full of confectionary foods. But to her, it was a dead teenaged boy with bloodshot eyes staring at candy and bawling his eyes out. "I should probably get going. My, uh, dad is probably waiting."

"Oh, of course," he said. "One second." He filled a pink and yellow paper bag with multicolored jujubes. "Don't think I didn't see you eyeing these."

"Oh, I wasn't-"

"Don't worry. It's on the house. I insist."

She smiled. "Okay. And just for the record, I think Alex would've been really proud of you.”

===

"So?" Julie said, popping another jujube in her mouth.

"What?"

"How was it?"

"How was what?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know."

"You were there. You know how it was."

"I know what I saw. I don't know what you were thinking."

"Really? Because I think the crying kind of gave it away."

"Describe your emotions to me. Pretend I'm Dr. Phil or something."

"Dr. Phil? That guy's still around?"

"Yeah, he has a talk show where he brings messed up people on TV and sends them to a ranch when he can't fix them.”

"Oh, fun."

"Stop trying to change the subject."

Alex sat up straight. "Well, he's changed."

She crossed one of her legs over the other and folded her hands over her knee. That was her 'therapist pose.' "And how does that make you feel?"

"Stop it."

"No."

He sighed. "Well, I don't do well with change. You know that. But..."

"Go on."

"It's not a bad change. It's not even that big of a change. He's still the same person. He's just being honest about who he is now. He's had 25 years to come to terms with his identity. It might take a little getting used to, but he didn't go through everything he went through just for it to be ignored by me. Change can be good. Hard, but good."

"Wow. My baby's growing up."

"I'm older than you."

"Come on, Lexie. Bring it in."

He engulfed her in a bear hug. When they pulled away she ate yet another jujube. 

"I don't even like these things," she said, "but I can't stop eating them."

That's when it hit him.

He snapped his fingers. "I got it!"

Julie gave him a weird look. "You okay there, bud?"

"Jujubes!"

"Huh?"

"You said to get my own nickname for you instead of calling you Jules. Jujubes! That's what I'm calling you from now on."

"No."

"Yes!"

"Please, no."

"Sorry, Jujubes. It's done."

She groaned "Okay, Lexie. You're lucky I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> i swear i dont try to make these emotional it just happens.
> 
> anyways, thanks for reading. i hope you enjoyed it. like i said before, comment prompts for fics youd like to see from me! i had an idea for a juke/palina songfic with dreaming of you (if you havent listened to madi's cover yet GO LISTEN TO IT RN) but wow i suck at writing romance.
> 
> also alex says trans rights
> 
> i was gonna say something else but forgot
> 
> oh well


End file.
